How to Find the Girl for You
You’re wondering about how to find the girl for you, and all the while you’ve been dating someone and it’s going great. It’s time to stop and question if she the one for you or do you keep looking? A lot of people may be stumped at this point, because they really don’t know what they’re after. But more often than not, it’s a question of one person being under a misconception – are you a “couple” or aren’t you? That’s the first thing you need to tackle.
Do You Know How To Find The Girl For You?Very often, finding a soulmate seems much harder than it is. People pay very little attention to this area of their personal life, and this is why they keep searching even though they may have already found what they were looking for in the first place!
What CanYou Do?The first step is to talk it out with your regular date and see where the two of you stand. Are you serious about each other? Are you just ‘friends with benefits’? It’s important that these matters are out in the open so that there are no misconceptions on either side of the relationship.
The next thing you need to consider – if you’re serious about finding a soulmate – is to see if that’s what the other person actually wants. If they’re just with you because you show them a good time, that’s not a relationship – that’s an acquaintance with an agenda!
On the other side of the coin, if you’re the one reluctant to commit, then please don’t lead the other person on. It’s natural to want to keep dating that person because of so many reasons, but none of them are the right reasons! Put a stop to it if you don’t want to pursue the relationship: it’s not fair to the other person.
If you’re serious about finding a girlfriend who will turn out to be much more than a girlfriend down the road,you need to be sensitive to her needs as well as yours
If you already know how to find the girl for you, but you know that she isn’t the right one, then respect that decision. If she says she doesn’t want to take it further, stop pushing the issue in your favor. Stop forcing them to accept your love. It’s possible that this isn’t the right person for you at all, but you’re the one not realizing that truth.
The Bottom LineIf you’re serious about finding a girlfriend who will turn out to be much more than a girlfriend down the road, you need to be sensitive to her needs as well as yours. Respect both sides of the relationship and you’ll be the happier for it.
The Five Love Languages
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Different things make people feel loved. If you’re in a relationship and have been feeling like your love tank is empty, it is very likely that you and your partner speak two different love languages. The problem is that people tend to love others in the language that matters to them, rather than loving people in the ways they want to be loved.
In Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages, he presents a groundbreaking theory of the five languages that people speak to express their love. He helps people understand which love language they speak, and then shows you how you can learn what your partner’s love language is to reignite the love in a relationship that has grown stale as a result of the partners feeling mutually unloved.
The five love languages are:
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical affection
- Words of affirmation
Everyone has a primary and a secondary love language, and it is common for partners to speak two completely different love languages from one another.
I loved this book, because it helped me see how the men I’ve dated have tried to show their love to me in their own way, and how I was doing the same. We were speaking right past each other, though, and both of us felt unloved.
My primary love language is gifts, and my secondary love language is words of affirmation. I feel loved in a relationship when:
- I receive flowers.
- I get text messages throughout the day.
- I get surprised—like a surprise date that’s all planned out without my input.
- He tells me he loves me.
- He tells me how pretty I look.
- He initiates sex.
- He says nice things during sex.
On the other hand, many of the men I have dated spoke the love language of Acts of Service. Things they would do to show their love:
- Help me move into or out of my apartment.
- Drive me around to do my errands.
- Assemble my furniture.
- Cook for me.
- Give me a pedicure.
While I appreciated these things, they didn’t speak as loudly to me as gifts and words of affirmation did. Since I didn’t explicitly recognize that Acts of Service was their love language, I felt unloved when they seldom gave me gifts or didn’t tell me they loved me often. It turns out that they were just showing their love to me in a language that didn’t resonate very much with me.
I’m now realizing that some ways that I can show love to a man whose love language is Acts of Service are:
- Cooking for him. It doesn’t have to be something huge and fancy. Even packing him a lunch will make him feel loved. And of course—this is after some time has passed and he is grateful for your cooking. I advise from jumping right into cooking for men when you are dating, since many women have a tendency to give too much too soon and many men have a tendency to take cooking for granted when it comes very early in a relationship.
- Helping him strategize through a problem that is stressing him out. When men have a problem, they do not like it when women ask them repeatedly what is wrong or how they can help. It comes off as nagging and makes them feel like you don’t believe they can handle their business. However, when the man does ask for your help, this is when you can really support him and help him think through the problem. He will feel less stressed out and more loved after the strategy or action session. A man I was dating asked me to help him get a new wardrobe and that was one of the most fun days we ever had together. When a man asks for help, they are completely open to receiving your help and interpret it as a strong sign of your love for them.
- Scratching or rubbing his back. Men need soothing and love too. Scratching and/or rubbing a man’s back—whether in bed or just when sitting on a couch—will make him feel relaxed and loved.
It’s important to know your love language, so you can communicate to your partner via requests (not demands!) things that would make you feel loved.
Top 3 Ways To Turn an Online Chat into a Long Term Love
Well, you finally did it, you signed up for the online dating site. You’ve only been thinking about it for a few months now, and finally it was time, right? Of course it was. So, now you are signed up, you will need to work a little magic so the other singles will want to talk to you. There are some things you need to take care of first before jumping into a chat room to talk. Some preparations to make, a profile to fill out, a photo to upload, people to meet and talk to, promotion of yourself on the site…
Making the Move to Online Dating
You see, to take a chat room relationship and turn it into a long term substantial one, takes a certain kind of person. The kind of person who isn’t afraid to take advice and let other people tell them what to do for a while… So, if you are that person, here are some tips to get it done, and done right
#1-Don’t Be Afraid to Work ItYou know the saying, “You get what you give” right? There is no difference between applying that phrase to any other part of your life then applying it to online dating. In this case, because no one is going to want to talk to anyone who doesn’t have the patience to make themselves look good for them, you won’t get anything out of the site that you don’t put into it. This goes for all parts of your dating profile, including how you write it and which photo you choose, two of the potentially most underestimated parts of the online dating process.
When you fill out your profile, try to be as accurate and creative as possible, wile trying to avoid outright lies or obvious blunders. For example, you don’t want to exaggerate too much on a good point, if you finally meet someone you will eventually have to explain away what you write. Also, you want to be honest, but you don’t have to include the windows you broke in your troubled past. Believe it or not, it is possible to be honest and creative without telling all or making yourself look bad in the process. It just takes time to get it right. If your profile doesn’t sound right the first time around, try and try again until it does.
#2-Picturing the FutureNow, you will want to go through some photos, and pick a few that make you look really good. Not some that are exaggerated, or do not accurately represent what you look like now, you don’t want to deceive anyone. Worse, you definitely don’t want to have the thought stuck in your head the person is only talking to you because of what yo look like right?
Out of the pile of possibles, pick a few you really like and choose one for the main photo, and upload it as the default pic. The one you choose should, the ideal photo would be a head shot of some sort, either of a good picture that you have cropped to just your head and upper body, or an actual head shot, like the professional photos. And you should be smiling, of course. Who wants to talk to someone who looks as if they are constantly unhappy?
Once you have picked out the main picture, the rest can go into a photo album for the public to see, or you can make them private for only approved people to see them.
#3-Reaching Out-Silence is a Turn-Off!The third most important way to turn an online chat into a long term relationship is to actually chat with people. While some peole are successful sitting in the sidelines, just waiting for the perfect person to fall into their laps, most peole do not operate this way.
It’s simple, really. reaching out to someone you find interesting is the only way to see if they have the same interest in you. If you don’t actually reach out to people to talk to them, they may never even know you exist. What you should ideally be doing is, after you finish the steps above and are done with your profile, is browse the lists, or photos of singles on the site (depending on how your particular site is set up). The biggest turn off, and put-off is a person who is afraid to make contact. Or someone who doesn’t answer when someone tries to chat you.
When you find the first person you want to chat with, the first thing is to tell them where you found them and you want to get to know them. Simple. But, something many people can not do for themselves, which is why Matching services have become so popular. If you can make the first move to make the first chat, chances are you will get a response. Then when the person responds to you, they will have a full profile to work off of and look at, being as you took the time to do it right, and chances are better for you just for that reason. I know I don’t want to chat with someone who has a blank profile. I want to know who I am talking to.
Will You make It? It’s Up to You, UltimatelyEven though #3 is the most important in terms of communication, the other two are just as important because no one is going to want to communicate with someone who might talk the talk but be out to scam them, or worse. be a spambot themselves.
Wow, I bet you never realized how much work finding someone online would be. And, now you know not to act like spam and get yourself booted for it, either. You see, that is one of the biggest things many people don’t realize when they go to an online dating site to look for love. While most people who join these sites want a quick and easy way to find a partner and a relationship, an online dating site is not that.
Unless you are joining a “hook-ups only” site, which are there for the sole purpose of finding someone for a short term proposition, joining-and working-an online dating site to your advantage takes a lot of patience. While, yes, they do save time in the long run, up front you will still need to put a lot of time into it to get anything decent out of it. And believe it or not, these three basic steps, while fundamental to anyone’s basic online dating site success, are the first ones most people will actually skip; just to go for broke instead, even when they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. And what they are getting themselves in return for their impatience is a forever chat relationship, as no one is ever gong to want to go any further with them otherwise.
First Date Doís and Doníts For Men
Today, i shall reprint the list of what women dont want on dates I first saw on Loveawake dating site blog. There are a lot of things that women don t want to see in her man, or rather, prefer not to see. It varies from woman to woman. However, i shall tell you the few things that most women wouldn’ t want.
1. Wandering Eye Syndrome
Too often we guys let our eyes wander around when talking to women. It wanders more often than not, to things that catch our eyes like a hot babe or a hot babe. THIS IS SOMETHING WE MUST GET RID OF. Women feel terribly insulted when your eye wanders off elsewhere, whether it be a balloon or a hot babe (much more serious), as this shows that something besides themselves has won over your attention and in that brief moment, you actually lost interest in them. So, whether it be a nude babe or captain Jack sparrow, do your best to refrain from having your eye wander off. Respect your date, give her your undivided attention, at least when she’s around :p
2. Treat a First Date As a First Date
Okay, this doesn’t only apply to the first date, it applies to the first few dates. There are certain rules and protocols that govern the tradition of first dates, and we must adhere by them. Don’t immediately jump into things, even if there were sparks and the stars aligned on your first date. You’ll only regret it in the future if you don’t know a girl enough before fully committing yourself. In other words, never skip “The Friend phase”.
3. Do Not Invade Her Personal Space
Everyone needs their own personal space, don’t get too close on the first date, or the second, or as long as you do not officially have been given the “Go Ahead” sign from her. Sure, she may have agreed to go out for lunch with you, but foreplay definitely wasn’t one of her orders. So, be wary of invading her personal space as you wouldn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way when she’s out with you. You want to leave the best impression you can at the end of the date, and being touchy and invasive isn’t one of them
4. Do Not Bring Up The Ex-Girlfriends
Your ex-girlfriends are not something you should / could boast about, there’s absolutely nothing nice to hear about it. Women hate to hear about the ex, as it draws a subconscious immediate comparison battle in every aspect with the ex. Perhaps you could replace “I went with my ex to…” to “I went with my female friend to…”, there should absolutely be no mention of them. You’re moving on with your life with dating again, so the past memories should be left behind too. Any mention of your ex-girlfriend only makes the girl you’re currently going out with think that you haven’t gotten over them, if not, why should you ever mention them? It’s a universal understood rule not to.
5. Do Not Get Jealous
You may have withheld not saying anything about your ex-girlfriends, but she may have not done the same about her ex-boyfriends. Always learn to play it cool and calm. Never ever let jealousy take over and rule your decisions, you’ll only turn sour and spoil the date. In fact, it would be better to join in the “discussions” about her ex-boyfriends if she does bring it up, show how mature and unaffected you are by them. Also, don’t hyperventilate at every message she receives from a guy, you don’t own her, and even if you did as you two are together already, it’s never nice to force her to compromise her guy friends over you.
Anyway, that’s what i got for what women don’t want to see in guys, i urge you all to add or even remove from this chapter by commenting below, I read through every comment and even a short anonymous comment would go a long way to helping me improve this blog post. (: